new year's resolution time

ok, so maybe it's a little early to make a proper new year's resolution, but i feel like something's got to shift and shifting to a new year is as good a time as any to change gears.

new plan: starting the day after christmas, i'm going to count down to new year's with smoking. 6,5,4,3,2,1. no smoking january 1. and i don't have to go into the office until the 6th so i have a good chance to modify my behavior before slipping into old routines.

new plan part 2: take a break from drinking. not quite the same method since counting down from 6 might be a bit too much wine of an evening, but i'll ring in the new year with something bubbly and then take a break.

i remember i found out i was pregnant with N on new year's day a couple of years ago. we were having friends' over for dinner and i had to make up some excuse about drinking too much the night before and that's why i didn't have any wine at our little party. i'm not pregnant, but i remember the timing and it worked for me before.

here's to a happy and more healthful new year!

T25: abandoning ship

well, so much for that idea. T25 is simply too high impact for me.

as i sat last night talking with my husband, all i could think about was how little i wanted to do the next workout or even repeat any of the ones i've done so far.

the program is designed to cram as much high-energy activity into 25 minutes as possible and as a result, there's very little transition time between activities. i feel like for the past 3 days i've been out of balance and sore as a result.

it turns out it's not just jumping i don't care for, it's the rapidity of motion in terms of getting a handle on what my body is supposed to be doing. with yoga, half my practice is easing into a pose and then adjusting and then adjusting a little more. i have time and liberty to help my body get into alignment. with this type of workout, i just don't.

M actually agreed with me and he's much more capable of doing the high impact work. his body is more used to that type of activity. i think i may have spent the last 10 years avoiding exactly this.

however, it was worth a try and i'm glad i gave it a go. moving on...

T25 - totally tough

this morning, i totally hit the snooze twice. i just wasn't feeling like jumping all around at 5:15am, but i still rolled myself out of bed, got downstairs and realized i had left my clothes upstairs. finally, clothes on, shoes located, i hit play on the DVD.

today's workout focused on doing a total body circuit. at the beginning, i felt like i could really do it. i ran in place, i punched and squatted. and then, the planks came along.

from: yoga journal

now, i've been practicing yoga for something like 15 years and i can hang out in a plank position. but this was a little more than i am capable of doing. my point of no return was when we were supposed to go from plank position and take 3 jumps up to a pike position (like downward dog, but a little tighter). then 2 jumps to get to pike, 2 jumps back. then 1 jump to pike and 1 jump back. who can do that?!

not me.

the hardest part about this workout was not being able to see the modifier for the really tricky stuff. and also being frustrated that i can't do it.

from theblackdogblog

but, i realized this morning, that i'm not sure i want to be able to do it. i always laugh at those memes where people say they can't do yoga because they're not flexible enough and i know it comes with time and practice. i'm not sure i'm willing to dedicate myself to reach the point where i can jump from plank to pike and back again.



i'll still finish the week, but i'm leaning toward a more low-impact program. this blog offers a workout calendar and links to her youtube workouts. realistically, i think that's more my speed.

T25: jumping isn't my thing

today's workout was speed 1.0. it was actually easier for me than yesterday's because i understood better what i was supposed to be doing.

but there's a lot of jumping.

turns out, i don't really like jumping all that much. it's kind of like running. i can do it if i have to, but if i don't, i really rather not.

but, there's also punching in this one (along with the jumping) and i do like that. i felt like i could actually do most of the workout without modifying. and then i would get my feet all confused and have to stop to find my place.

at least i didn't have to stop because i was winded.

i've committed to myself to do the full first week according to the program, but i'm thinking this kind of workout is not for me. to the vendor's credit, there is a 30 day money back guarantee. if i hate it, no harm no foul.

i hope there's less jumping tomorrow...

T25 - day 1

this morning, we started the T25 program i mentioned last week. *and* M did it with me.

to be fair, we didn't get off to a great start. i hit snooze and then V had a bad dream and we finally got started about 20 minutes after we planned. oh well.

the first workout is cardio. M is an avid runner. me, not so much. as we did the workout, he's jumping and running in place all fast and i'm barely able to figure out what we're supposed to be doing before we change the motions. it's like zumba, but less dancing.

i kind of felt like an idiot, but it's not my usual style of exercise. M on the other hand really was able to do all the running, jumping and knees-up-in-the-air things. i'm hoping i'll get better at it once i'm more familiar.

on the little calendar that tells you which workout to do on which day, you can check a box that says, "nailed it" or "barely made it". even though i wasn't dying at the end, i felt like i had to check barely made it since i fumbled around and modified just about everything.

here we go...

narrowing my search

last week, i asked for suggestions for a fitness goal or program or something to focus my brain on shifting to a more healthful lifestyle. i need a kick-start to get moving in the right direction.

several girlfriends had excellent suggestions:

- 50 bloggers making a difference in fitness, health and happiness
- insanity, by beachbody
- choosing a yoga pose to really get into (touching my toes, headstand, or the like)

i took some time, reviewed the options and i think i'm going to do the T25 workout program also by beachbody. it's a 10 week program that comes with a little calendar which tells me which workouts to do on which days. and you can check things off! as in, i totally did that workout.

some of the other programs require a greater amount of time in the mornings than i can commit. each one of these workouts is 25 minutes. i can manage 25 minutes and still get myself and 2 little ones out the door in the morning.

i looked at the info last night and here's how it works:

day 1: weigh yourself and take your measurements (they say to do this on a saturday)
day 2: psych yourself up (sunday, i guess)
after that: do 1 workout (as specified by the calendar) 5 days in a row and that takes you back to saturday.

i guess it's pretty intense, but why not go for it?

suggestions please?

photo credit: balanced yoga

i'm looking for an idea for a fitness goal and need some help.

my intention is to set a goal, then set a schedule of workouts/practices to help me reach that goal. i'm looking for something to work toward.

for example, if i was a runner (which i'm not), i'd identify a marathon or a half-marathon in a reasonable enough amount of time to train for it then run it.

but i hate running, so that won't work. i obviously practice yoga, but what kind of benchmark can i strive for there?

any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

if i come up with something, i'll be sure to track my progress and share the experience. wish me luck!

acorn squash stuff with quinoa

in anticipation of our unprocessed october, i got started a little ahead of schedule. my girls had a slumber party at nana's house saturday night, so M and i had dinner with just the two of us at home. we had an acorn squash arrive with our weekly bin and i planned our meal around it.

to accompany a skillet cooked steak and bright green salad, i made the recipe below which looks a lot like this image, but like a fool i didn't think to take a photo of my pretty dish.

photo credit cookingiwthmykid.com

roasted acorn squash stuff with quinoa

ingredients: 1 acorn squash, 1/2 cup quinoa, 1 cup of water plus more for roasting, 4 roma tomatoes seeded and chopped, 1 small cucumber sliced thinly and chopped, 1/3 of a large red onion diced, 1/4 cup of feta cheese, olive oil, salt and pepper. serves 2

1. pre-heat oven to 400 degrees. scrub, halve and seed the squash. place face down in a rimmed baker (i used a pyrex 13x9 pan) with about 1/4 inch of water. bake until cooked through, about 45 minutes.

2. saute the onion with a little olive oil until just soft. add quinoa and stir through quickly to toast. add water, bring to a boil, reduce heat and cooked with the cover on until quinoa is done. about 15-20 minutes.

3. after quinoa has cooled slightly, mix in tomatoes, cucumber and feta. adjust seasoning to taste.

4. place cooked squash face up, scoop the quinoa mixture into the squash and serve.

this would have been even better if i had remembered to add fresh parsley to the mixture and some on top, but i forgot. oh well. it still tasted awesome.

unprocessed in october

the blog eating rules is hosting "october unprocessed" next month. our family has been toying with the idea of eating only real (whole or without added preservative ingredients) since i did the 5 day detox earlier this month.

october 1st seems as good a time as any to make the switch. however, when i went to make our grocery list for the upcoming week, i realized that we had all kinds of stuff on the list that wouldn't work. specifically, ketchup.

so, yesterday, i made ketchup. and of course, V flatly refused to eat it. but, i have to imagine that at some point if she really wants ketchup she'll give in and hopefully like it. i was missing a couple ingredients, but it turned out ok nonetheless.

this morning, after our trip to the market, we made apple butter. M has never had apple butter which i find to be a bit sad. we're all ready to change that.

do you have any processed foods that you'd like to learn how to make?

until i met M, i didn't actually know that you could make salad dressing. i assumed it was terribly complicated which is why it came in a bottle. here's my favorite go to salad dressing:

1/4-1/3 cup of red wine vinegar
1 tbsp dijon mustard
1 tbsp diced onion (optional)
salt and pepper
about 3/4 cup to 2/3 cup olive oil

1. whisk all the ingredients except the oil together
2. slowly add the oil, whisking the whole time until thoroughly mixed

a fun/not so fun 5k

yesterday, i walked the step up for stephanie 5k with a team of 8 people. M ran and took 5th place and the rest of our team were colleagues and/or kids who wanted to share the experience. overall it was really fun (with some rough patches).

our team

V convinced me that she wanted to run the whole way. wanting to encourage her excitement and in the spirit of positive thinking, i agreed. she totally had a ball! except she totally pooped out less than a mile into the walk. (at this point, i should note that this is the first 5k that i've ever ever run. ever. primarily to keep up with my child and not lose her in the crowd of thousands.)

when V expressed her absolute need to ride in the stroller, i stepped off to the side fulling intending to pull N into the carrier, strap her onto my back and keep going.

nope.

i ended up with two complete strangers helping me and my co-workers realizing i had stepped off coming back to help. i needed it. we made it about another mile before N's crying made me feel so bad for the other racers that i stopped again to try to put her in the carrier in front of me.

worse.

now she cried, no wailed, like i was pinching her. for the record, i was not. "walk! walk, mommy!"

at this point, one co-worker is pushing another co-worker's stroller, who is is pushing V in our stroller and i am walking a two year old in a 5k race. i am embarrassed at the poor form. at this point, M finds us, relieves us of N and we finish the last mile and a half very pleasantly ultimately finishing in an hour. which, frankly with all the stopping, starting, running, chasing and tears seems like quite a victory.

N rounded out the morning with a visit to a giant cow. sometimes, my life seems a little surreal.

am/pm practice

monday afternoon, i remember that i had signed up to do a 21 day yoga challenge through yoga journal. when i first read about it in the magazine, the page hadn't been updated yet and kept telling me that the program ended last december. eventually, it updated and i somehow signed up.

but i didn't get the first workout until around 3pm. too late for me to practice. so, i thought, oh, i'll just do all the workouts one day behind. no problem! however, at 5:30am the next morning when it failed to load after repeated attempts (and my technology solving skills are not the best at that time of day) i gave up and did a random dvd from the shelf.

and then i realized that we had on-site fitness that evening. i started my day with a fairly vigorous practice and ended with a more relaxing practice. we have an instructor who just received her certification and i really liked how she talked us into each pose and then held us there.

i find that holding a pose for longer breaths takes my focus somewhere different. i'm not trying to keep up, i'm trying to finesse my form. and it's exhausting! chair pose for 8 breaths is some serious business.

i actually set my alarm to get up this morning, but i felt kind of sore and rather than push it to try for a video that won't load, i chose to rest.

rested.

detox basics

mind body green posted an article about detox basics that i really wish i would have read last week before i created my own 5 day detox plan.

The author offers 5 tips for choosing a detox plan that's right for you:

1. There must be a food plan! 

Supplements alone aren't enough. 

2. What should you eat? 

Load up on organic greens like kale, cruciferous veggies such as broccoli and cabbages, and antioxidants from deeply colored fruits and veggies. These nutrients support enzymes in the liver that process and remove toxins.  

3. Don't forget the protein! 

While juicing is great, your liver also needs amino acids, which you get from eating protein. Plant-based protein sources like beans, nuts, and seeds are just as healthy as chicken and fish, which are also good.  

4. Which foods should you avoid? 

Stay away from foods that stress your liver. This means avoiding processed sugar, gluten, corn, alcohol, caffeine, and saturated animal fat from dairy and red meat.  

5. Add some liver-boosting supplements to your food plan and you will really get the detox engine going. 

Include antioxidants, B vitamins, herbs like milk thistle, and amino acids like glycine. (You can also get this as part of a liver support protein shake.) 

to read the full article, click here.

yoga tuesday: relaxing the shoulders

V, my older daughter, at times, struggles to figure out ways to calm herself down in the face of whatever it is (usually not getting what she wants). each evening, we take deep breaths together and recently we started connecting motion with our breath. we take 5 deep breaths in and 5 deep breaths out. we breath in when our arms go up and out as our arms come back to our sides. for the last one, we bring our hands to pray position before hopping into bed for books.

this is great for evening, but i wondered if the yoga instructor for the class i attended tonight had any suggestions. she has a little girl who will be 3 in a couple of months. she was very thoughtful with me and suggested doing many things that we already do- use my breath as a model, use the abc yoga deck, intersperse activity with periods of rest. she also suggested bringing her to family yoga. it might be a good way to give her more tools to put in her toolbox for when she's on her own. having the muscle memory could really help.

the only trouble is that it's offered once a month. good luck remembering when that is...

after our chat, class got started and we mainly focused on moving our shoulders away from our ears. each pose and each series of motions had a component of drawing away and back with the intention of relaxing instead of gripping or forcing.

somewhere in the middle, we did a series over and over, each of us following our own breath, moving between warrior 2, reverse warrior, triangle, side angle and back to warrior 2. it was kind of amazing. more like dancing than yoga.

i'm going to try it with V one of these days. i think she'll really like the rhythm of the flow.

5 day detox: done and done

i finally succeeded at one of my life-altering plans. and for the positive! i am 5 days free of junk, all kinds of junk, and i'm pretty proud of myself.

i actually didn't feel so great most of today. i don't think i drank enough water and i'm pretty sure i didn't eat enough food. ultimately, this left me feeling cranky and with a low-level headache for most of the day.

we picked up lots of yummy vegetables at the farmer's market this morning as well as some homemade jam and local honey to help shift us away from extras in food. tonight, i cooked a roasted vegetable pasta bake from 100 Days of Real Food which i liked, but the kids wouldn't touch. V ate the pasta, but i forgot N hates tomatoes so that didn't work out too well.

i'm hopeful this manageable section of change has been enough to catapult me into a more healthful lifestyle. it's like setting sail into a new method of cooking and eating.

bon voyage!

ps - i'm really looking forward to a cup of coffee tomorrow morning, though. that is going to taste excellent.

5 day detox: in the home stretch

it's kind of amazing how long 4 days can seem when exercising such control over one's intake. i have actually managed to eat only whole foods these past 4 days with no smoking and no wine.

the challenge for me came in around dinner time tonight. we had plenty of food in the house to cook for the girls, but i had managed to eat every last vegetable with my lunch today which left nothing for me to eat for dinner.

my work got out early today so i came home and pulled out a yoga dvd that i hadn't looked at in probably 8 or 9 years. i hadn't looked at it because the one time i tried to do the workout i completely failed. my friend and i made it about 20 minutes into the 60 minute program, gave up and watched the rest from the sidelines like it was entertainment. which, frankly, it was at that point. today, i went through the whole thing. i don't know why i have a 60 minute "power yoga" dvd in the first place, but i am kind of proud that i can do it now. 10 years later...

anyway, back to my salad, it had a whole head of bibb lettuce, half an ear of farm fresh corn, avocado, cucumbers, a little onion and lemon to dress it. so. good.

this evening, after the kids went down for bed, i sat and planned the menu for this week coming up. i thought i had missed something, but in planning, there's only one meal that has meat and we're going to grill chicken. in 4 days, my thinking about what makes a meal a meal has shifted. again, i ate pretty well before, but this is different. after tomorrow, i won't be quite as vigilant, but i'm willing to make an effort.

5 day detox: i'm really doing it

for day 3,  my morning started with yoga. i spent 5 hours in the car yesterday driving up to a meeting and back again so stretching felt pretty good. i focused on hip openers and finished with a brief seated meditation. (that didn't last too long as M started making breakfast and packing lunch in the next room.)

i ate leftover cooked oats with berries for breakfast and had a hard boiled egg for snack. another big green salad served as lunch today with arugula, mushrooms and other raw veggies plus brown rice, chic peas and a little oil and vinegar to dress it. i would have preferred lemon, but they didn't have any where we were.

one avocado, a bunch of grapes, an apple and peanut butter and edamame later and here i am writing this evening. i spaced all that out over the afternoon and evening, but i'm pretty hungry at the moment.

i have to say, i'm surprised at how good i feel physically. i read those testimonials about people who eliminate something from their diet and poof! they're cured of whatever ailed them. i tend to be a bit of a skeptic when it comes to pre-set programs and revelations through diet, but i feel really great. and my digestion is excellent. for me, this stands out as a really big deal as my health issues all revolved around digestion.

although, while i'm not usually a person who craves sweets, i could really go for something sweet to munch on. like a pastry. or bread with jam. fruit tastes sweet, but i crave something with more substance. and i did have a moment today when i was ready to quit early and have some french fries.

in the scheme of things, i'm glad i decided to do this.

5 day detox: part 2

today, i feel better than yesterday. let's just start with that.

i rounded out my first detox day with a pretty excellent smoothie. i found the recipe here and modified it slightly to meet the ingredients we had on hand. an added bonus to this smoothie is that the kids not only helped make it, but loved it as well.

Mango Coconut Water Smoothie

combine all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. makes about 2 servings.

• 2 cups mango chunks (i used frozen, but fresh i have to imagine is better)
• handful of frozen raspberries
• juice of 1 lime
• 2 cups unsweetened coconut water
• pinch of cayenne pepper

then, i focused on fruits and vegetables primarily today, but i had to add in some protein or i wasn't going to make it. cleansing away from one's normal routine may be one thing, but i still have to work, care for my kids and make lunches at night. i need a little something.

for day 2, breakfast included cooked rolled oats with berries, walnuts and some local honey. raw carrots and cucumbers, a mix of walnuts and pecans, 2 hard boiled eggs and a handful of grapes were spaced out over the day with a big green salad in the middle. for the salad, i dressed it with lemon and a little oil. for dinner we ate whole grain soba noodles with lean pork, raw vegetables and sauce from only whole ingredients. 

like i said at the beginning, i feel better today. the only thing i wish i'd manage to add into my day is some physical activity. i should have gotten up to practice yoga this morning, but i thought i might not have the energy after not eating much for a day. 

i must admit, i felt a little worried undertaking a 5 day commitment like this, but i'm pretty pleased with how its going. i mean, i'm not glowing or anything, but the dark circles looked less noticeable under my eyes this morning. 

i'll call that progress.

5 day detox: take 1

after reviewing so many different detox plans, programs, diets and recipes, i ultimately decided on a combination of programs to suit me.

research on detoxing shows about anything you want it to show you. for example, one says to fast the first day and another says limiting calories demonstrates no benefit, only fatigue. one set of programs suggest eating yogurt and eggs, another tells you to avoid all dairy and eggs, but nut milks are ok. you can find the one i'm modelling my plan on here. i'm super good at the clear liquids diet, anyway. after being ill for so long, i know what counts and what doesn't.

photo credit: the full time domestic goddess

here's what day 1 looks like for me:

• mostly drink water (lots and lots of water)
• hot water with lemon is good
• detox tea (or other decaffeinated tea) is on the menu
• melon

i've already downed a full water bottle (24 oz) and had a cup of tea and lemon water. on my lunch, i'm going to head out and get some melon. i don't know why it's melon on day 1. i found it in at least 2 of the programs i investigated. i guess i would say i'm off to a good start. more calories coming on day 2.

jumpstart with detox plan

it turns out, quitting smoking and drinking are difficult. so, i'm going to re-start my plan by diving into a 5 day detox program.

now, to be clear, i'm not talking about a formal order-my-product, pay-for-my-plan kind of program. i simply realized that by trying to eliminate habits that occur as part of my normal routine and keeping the same normal routing is not working for me.

starting tomorrow, i'm going to eliminate all smoking, alcohol, caffeine, processed sugars, processed everything from my diet for 5 days. i'm going to add in as much water as i can swallow. (everything i've read suggests 10 glasses per day. i have a big water bottle, so i'm going to shoot for 3 full water bottles.)

i will eat, but only whole foods, grains, fruits and vegetables.

i find that my resolve is excellent when i wake up, but falters as soon as i hit a stressful situation. for example, my littlest one completely fell out at breakfast this morning. i have no idea why. offering her cereal is apparently sob-worthy material.

i'm also going to use chains to track my progress with one chain each for yoga, no smoking, no non-water beverages, eating whole foods.

i am determined to make a change. i just have to find the right switch in my brain.

back to back fitness

for yoga tuesday this week i attended our on-site zumba class with a handful of co-workers. the class lasted a very short 45 minutes. for me, i felt much less awkward than the first time i participated. i don't know if it was because i knew the moves a little better or if i just felt better generally. regardless, my arms felt sore this morning from all that pumping and punching.

from yoga journal

then, this morning, i rolled out of bed with the full intention of a good 30 or 45 minutes of practice, but instead ended up cleaning up cat puke. and then following the cat around the house as she continued to puke in various rooms. awful.

eventually, i managed to find a little cat-puke-free space and practice for about 10 minutes. i started with a couple sun salutations, then moved through warrior 2, side angle pose and triangle on each side. using vinyasa to transition, i ended with pigeon pose, seated forward bend and cobblers pose. i tried to sit quietly at the end of my practice, but i just couldn't let the thoughts move past.

stupid cat.

good/bad

10 minutes - morning stretch

one of the really good/really bad things about quitting smoking is the moments when my sense of smell starts to properly revive. i can smell everything. (wild mint! truck exhaust!)

credit: survival in the wasteland

one of the good/bad things about our new house is the downstairs bedroom which is currently serving as an office, spare bedroom, yoga studio, playroom and cat litter closet.

this morning, M and I both woke up around 5:30am- he to get ready for cross country practice and a pre-work day and me to practice yoga and get ready for work.

good: M cleaned the cat box.

bad: i couldn't even walk in the room, let alone practice because all i could smell was the cat litter. (granted it was clean cat litter, but it still smelled like chemicals.)

good: we have a playroom, now. i can practice in the playroom.

bad: we didn't clean the playroom last night before bed so i had to clear a little circle for myself to settle in.

good/bad: i still practiced, but it wasn't the practice i woke up imagining.

yoga tuesdays

75 minutes - vinyasa 1/2
30 minutes - yoga for core strength

tuesday is officially my day to go to the yoga studio. and, they even offer 2 choices on tuesday nights- a level 1/2 vinyasa class or the full primary series. this week, i chose the vinyasa class.

we flowed in and out of poses, but kept coming back to side plank. first, with a knee on the ground, then the full side plank, then lifting one leg, then binding the lifted leg with the same side arm. i nearly toppled over several times, but so did everyone else. it was a supportive and fun kind of class.

this morning, i did a little practice i found somewhere on the internet. i didn't keep the page, but just wrote down the series. (i think i meant to print it, but the internet failed me.) i added a little here and there, but i understand why they called it yoga for core strength:

1. cat/cow
2. hand/knee balance (from table, lift opposite arm and leg)
3. down dog
4. plank
5. side plank
6. high lunge
7. half moon pose
8. chair pose
9. eagle pose
10. boat pose

i will say, i wish i'd look ahead a little because it makes much more sense to come into half moon pose from the high lunge. i figured it out on the second side and had to go backwards to get the first side. also, i would add one more pose at the end to counter the boat pose. i chose cobbler's pose. a seated forward bend would work, too.

happy yoga tuesday!

good morning hips

30 or 40 minutes - hip openers

credit: balanced yoga

after feeling like a lump yesterday, i set my alarm for 5:45am and actually made it out of bed by 6am. i headed downstairs armed with a little home practice i found on yoga journal last night. they have a whole section on home practice which can be nice especially if you're a little out of practice.

i started with a couple rounds of sun salutations to warm up and added a standing forward bend before i started the series appropriately called hip enough? i liked the flow and i added a vinyasa here and there to help the transitions, but overall i felt like i flowed right on through.

and now, i've started my day a little more open and a little brighter. i had to refocus my focus to remember that i'm choosing to do this. it is my choice. i choose to wake up and practice yoga.

change is hard

my first week of lifestyle shifting is going ok. not great, but ok. i feel like i didn't actually arrange enough time to accomplish all my weekly goals this week, especially as i'm coming off of a (lovely) weekend of travel into a full work-week, an anniversary celebration and a wedding this weekend.

too many special occasions for full-on victory this week. but, i found this image from yoga on high this afternoon and it brightened my outlook a bit.

now, i'm going to re-set my brain and turn my can't into cans and my dreams into a plan for a yoga retreat.*

*i feel like i sound a little chipper and perky on this one, but i've felt a little sad and a little isolated this week since most of my social habits are linked up with stuff that's not so healthful. pulling away from conversation and friends to not be around the stuff i don't want to do is a bummer.

here we go again!

when i first started posting here, i had just started a 30 day yoga challenge. at first, i thought to keep the blog to document my progress and essentially check the box for my practice each day. however, as the month went on, i found i looked forward to writing about my experience as well as practicing.

today, as i start my lifestyle change, i'd like to share my shift in a similar way. as i mentioned last week, i've been having a tough time motivating myself to make these choices. after a lovely long weekend with my very, very good friend, we settled on my external motivator.

if i can meet my goals, my reward is a yoga retreat. it's not something i would normally just do or buy and it will be a totally new experience. i've been thinking about it for quite awhile, but never pulled the trigger. so, here we go!

i threw away my left over cigarettes this morning and i did walking club with my co-workers this afternoon to break-up the day a little bit. i feel a little sad and a little excited. the plan is simple: no smoking, practice 3-4 times a week and 7 drinks per week. if i can do that, i can go to the retreat.

it sounds simple on paper, but breaking a habit (or starting a habit, for that matter) is hard. for me, it takes focus and discipline and obviously a really big treat at the end of it.

wish me luck!

building up to a lifestyle change

for the past couple of weeks, i've been mulling over shifting my lifestyle in a fairly big way. to be frank, i'm smoking, i drink wine (often) and since my vacation earlier this month, my yoga practice has slipped to nearly non-existent. not so good.

i need a motivator. my husband asked me if my health and his happiness would be enough, but i just don't think it is. the last times i quit smoking and stopped drinking i was either pregnant or in the hospital. neither of which i plan to experience again in the near future.

i'm trying to figure out something i want that i wouldn't normally get for myself- a girlfriend suggested an awesome handbag or a new pair of shoes, but those don't seem quite far enough out of reach. i'm leaning toward a yoga retreat in november.

now, all i have to do is set my goals, stick to them and earn my reward.

other suggestions for external motivators?

binding, binding, binding

90 minutes - vinyasa 1/2

finally, i made it back to the studio after moving. i have practice precisely once since we actually moved homes primarily because working, having two children and unpacking is a lot like have 2-3 full time jobs. i fall into the bed every night and take every spare minute in the morning to collect sleep.

this morning, however, i committed to the studio. i'm so glad i did. it took me a minute to warm up, but the whole practice revolved around warrior 2 and moving from warrior 2 to a variety of other positions.

my milestones today include binding in 2 positions that i've never been able to manage before. first, the yogic squat. basically, you squat with your knees and ankles pointing the same direction (for me, slightly outward) and put your hands in prayer position. (my girlfriend taught me how to sit like this almost 20 years ago because it's how the old korean ladies sit in the market.) then somehow the instructor got me into the bind- one arm under and one arm behind. i've never done that before.

then, the second bind came right after. we were in side angle pose and i made it into the bind there as well. except i couldn't hold it for the whole time. i don't know how many breaths we were taking, but i made it about half way through. i guess that's what i get for not practicing for 3 weeks.

still, i'm pretty proud of my progress.

standing half moon

60 minutes - balance

Last night was our final on site yoga class at work before the summer. I know my co-workers like the instructor, but I have to say that I'm not a big fan. He takes forever to get into the poses.

However, last night I did the full standing half moon poses without falling over. The key for me is looking down to find my focus instead of looking up at the ceiling. And standing on the floor instead of my mat. It felt so good and so strong to be able to push out of both arms and both legs at the same time.

Super proud of myself.

bind

60 minutes - on site fitness

we had on site fitness last night with not my favorite instructor, but the practice was nice. it was only me and one other co-worker. as we neared the end of our practice, i managed to get into a full bind in a seated twist. and just as i settled into the bind on the other side, a police officer walked into the room.

"is this 1399?" he asked. what?

he asked again. then he asked, "are you burglars? we got a burglary alarm."

let me paint a picture for you: 3 people sitting in a fairly dim conference room on yoga mats with peaceful music playing in the background. if we were really burglars, we were the worst ones ever. who breaks into a conference room to practice yoga?

in reality, someone had forgotten we were there and set the alarm on us which is set off by motion. i hopped up, disarmed the alarm and got a false alarm ticket.

the instructor wanted to repeat our previous pose to get us back into the rhythm, but we had done fish pose right before that and i really didn't want to do that one again, so we did something else to refocus our breath and finish up.

seriously distracting.

nice and easy

25 minutes - whatever i want

this morning, i thought i would do the 12 asana practice my friend recommended to me, but i kept getting dizzy in downward dog. so, i scrapped that and did a nice little series of standing poses, a balancing pose and some seated forward bends. i added a little twist to round out my practice then tried to finish up in hero pose again.

except i couldn't quiet my mind. the cat tried to use my mat as a scratching post. i worried about the baby waking up. i thought about the back to back interviews i have scheduled this afternoon. ugh.

i gave up and started my day. oh well.

car yoga

a recipe

all one needs to practice yoga in the car is two young children in the back seat and a long drive ahead. for me, this is how the practice unfolded.

we started out listening to music, but soon snacks were in order. i passed a snack back to daughter number 1, then twisted myself into a pretzel to pass a snack back to daughter number 2. and the magnadoodle, and the books and the everything a young person could possibly want during a long car drive.

i used my flexibility and strength to really make it happen. happy car travels to you!

yoga with a friend

60 minutes - vinyasa 1

i met a girlfriend at the yoga studio tonight for an evening class. it was geared toward level 1 and i'm glad she chose this one because the last time she practiced was during pre-natal yoga. we were pregnant at the same time and our little ones share a birthday. they are 20 months old now.

it felt kind of strange to practice next to someone i knew. i felt like i had to pay attention to her and we kept lining up so that our arms would crash into each other as opposed to staggering on our mats. and i felt like i had to really do great at everything since i've been practicing more recently. in my brain, i know it's not a competition, but my mind kept slipping that way.

and...

i got my heels down in downward dog! not for long and only after i had warmed up, but they were down. i could finally push through my heels and my hands at the same time. maybe if i keep this up, i'll be able to do it consistently and not just have them touch for a couple of seconds per vinyasa.

i did it!

supported hero

30 minutes - nice and easy morning practice

yesterday morning, i started my practice in mountain to find my breath and get centered. i cycled through some sun salutations, standing and seated poses. then, instead of ending in savasana or corpse pose, i decided to sit in supported hero pose. (to add support, place a block under your sits bones. if it's too much of a stretch to sit in the full pose, this adds some height and helps if your feet tend to fall asleep.)

frankly, i was afraid i would fall asleep if i totally relaxed into corpse pose so i chose something more active to settle myself.

i found that i got lost in mindfulness, just noticing and letting thoughts pass through. i let go of my breath and just paid attention to my body. then i realized i didn't know how to get out. usually, i wiggle my fingers and my toes when i'm ready to start my day, but this time i didn't have a familiar pattern to undo my silence.

fortunately, M started shuffling stuff around in the kitchen and it provided just enough distraction outside myself that i could open my eyes. i started my day in a good place. and it was a good thing because i ended up working until after 9pm.

bikini belly

25 minutes - strength, toning and crunches

this morning i modified the workouts my sister sent me. i did body weight squats with arm curls, pressing all the way up, holding in plank position, resistance band rows and a mess of crunches.

i was supposed to do 4 sets, but i only made it through 3. i'm thinking yesterday's yoga plus packing up the basement gave me quite a workout yesterday and my body is still tired.

one of the nice things about the class yesterday was that the instructor adjusted me a couple of times and i got way deeper into my seated forward bend than i have in the past. my hamstrings get so tight and this certainly helped, but now i'm feeling it.

happy monday.

hot yoga

90 minutes - vinyasa 1/2

i went to the 8:30am class again this morning and remembered how warm it was friday morning. rather than wear my usual yoga pants, i chose a running skirt to keep myself cooler. just in case you were wondering, a running skirt is not shorts. no one needed to see that.

as soon as i got in the studio and took a comfortable seat, i realized my error. and that instructor worked us. we warmed up and the room warmed up. i just kept getting hotter. i forgot my towel and we did all kinds of great move which raised my legs over my head.

poor choice in apparel today. any recommendations for yoga shorts?

high probability of falling over

60 minutes - vinyasa 1/2

i went to the 9am class at the studio this morning for the vinyasa level 1/2 class. i was surprised by how many people were there, but it was a great class. we did a great flow and focused quite a bit on the 3 locks- the chin, the middle and the lower belly. it brought a higher level of intensity to my practice.

at one point, we moved from table top to threading the needle. i don't know if that's what it's really called, but it's when you move one arm under the other with the shoulder and the head rest on the floor. the instructor gave us a couple of ways to move through to the full pose. she said there's a high probability of rolling over by losing your balance. i started in the basic pose, got one leg up in the air and thought i felt balanced enough to raise my supporting arm.

nope. i totally rolled over onto the floor. fairly loudly. at least it was funny, but i still felt a little silly.

no harm in trying.

sleepytime yoga

25 minutes - vinyasa flow

i really wanted to stay in bed this morning, but i didn't. my alarm finally woke me up and M finally got me out of bed. i did a nice little morning practice, but i really wanted to sleep instead.

ultimately, i'm glad i made it out of the bed, but i'm still pretty sleepy. *yawn*

strength and toning

20 minutes - strength and toning

my strength and training exercises today were a bit beyond my ability. my sister was a personal trainer for a long time and sent me a 3 days of workouts to start building strength and toning my body to look great in a bathing suit this summer.

advice from my sister: cut out sweets, dairy and alcohol.

for me, sweets and dairy aren't a problem. to be frank, i'm still going to enjoy a glass of wine. but, i'm doing my best.

i did the second day this evening instead of waking up to practice early this morning. i was supposed to do 4 sets of each exercise and i just couldn't. i did 3 and my arms were so tired i thought i might not be able to do much of anything tomorrow if i pushed past it.

still building strength.

on-site yoga: round 2

60 minutes - kripalu

tonight, we started the second 4 week series of on-site yoga at work. i know that i prepared the instructor to meet the varying degrees of comfort and familiarity with yoga as well as very diverse ability, but i felt like i was doing a beginner class. i guess i just felt like my practice has evolved beyond the level this fellow was teaching, but the rest of my group liked it.

it moved a little too slow for me and we ended up in triangle pose which if i had known i was in triangle pose i would have moved my body into triangle. instead, i thought we were in some variation of side angle pose. i didn't know where to put my arms. it was kind of bizarre.

this morning, rather than have a lie in, i still got up at 5:15am, but instead of practicing yoga i did 4 sets of some strength and toning exercises my sister sent me. she sent me the list of exercises and then after she explained them to me, i finally started today. the intent is to do a series of 3 or 4 exercises of 20 reps each with no breaks between sets. i went out and bought some little 2 lb hand weights and a resistance band.

the thing that had me laughing was that the second exercise was to hold plank position for 30-60 seconds. i thought after 30 days of yoga this would not be a problem. i think i purposefully counted a fast 30 seconds because my arms were shaking.

i guess i'm not as strong as i thought.

days of rest

yesterday was my daughter's 5th birthday party and we had house guests as well. rather than try to fit in a practice, i decided to take a shower and enjoy the day.

this morning, i had planned on going to the 8:30am yoga class as my mother's day gift to myself, but instead we had a lovely second breakfast of blueberry pancakes and sausage hot off the griddle and onto my plate with me not cooking and just eating.

happy mother's day to me!

day 30: we did it!

30 minutes - going with the flow

i book-ended my practice yesterday and today. literally less than 7 hours between them and most of that time was spent sleeping.

i started with sun salutations today and then just did more of what i felt like doing. i figured as my reward for 30 days of practice in a row, i could just do what felt good. the backs of my legs were really tight so i did a lot of forward bends, both standing and sitting. i tried to do a standing balance, but kept tipping over so i stopped. in the sun salutations, i managed to hover over the floor instead of plopping my belly down for each series this morning. usually i get tired and give myself a break, but not today.

i cannot believe we were able to find time to practice for 30 days in a row. i feel so accomplished and also like i shifted my mind to look forward to practicing. i'm going to continue  but i'm also going to give myself a break if i need rest more than motion.

my secondary goal of getting my heels down in downward dog was not met, but as i'm going to continue to practice, i'm going to keep it as a goal.

congratulations to my good friend who i couldn't have done it without. even from half-way around the world, having that support and accountability kept me going.

day 29: at the end of the day

20 minutes - nice and easy

i didn't get out of bed this morning to practice. which means that i went through my day understanding that i needed to find time this evening for myself.

well, 1 trip to the shoe store, 1 trip to the grocery store, 4 dozen iced cupcakes, 1 baked birthday cake and 2 glasses of wine later i found time to practice. i consciously decided to wait until after all of my evening activities were completed otherwise i wouldn't be able to focus on my breath and my body and the whole practice would be wasted.

tonight, i made up my own little evening practice. i held each pose for 10 breaths which allowed me to actually focus in on myself instead of getting distracted by the things to be done tomorrow. i also managed the full lotus position tonight. believe it.

now, however, i'm ready for bed. to end this 30 day challenge, i'm apparently going to bookend my practices.

day 28: trying to get taller

25 minutes - balance and alignment

the balance class i took at work stuck with me and this morning i tried to recreate that feeling of getting taller and creating space in my middle. i'm not sure i quite managed that in my 25 minute practice, but i feel longer. (at least a little)

i should have thought this one through a little more rather than trying to rely on my memory early in the monring. but, here we are.

today is the 4 consecutive week of practicing every day. i am super proud of my good friend who joined me on this. and i'm super impressed with myself that i've developed enough discipline and motivation to get up early just about everyday to make time for something that's important to me.

the article i read in the beginning talked about creating a habit. i hope i've created a good one.

ashtanga and the ego

i just read a blog post called ashtanga yoga - the mighty ego crusher which rings fairly true to me. as a young person, i learned ashtanga at the gym. i totally thought it was just gym yoga, but the advantage for me was two fold. first, the teacher was excellent and really took time to break down the poses and offer encouragement and adjustment to meet my ability and fear. second, the class sizes were generally quite small and sometimes i was the only person practicing. i got tons of individual attention.

through the year, i've practiced off and on, but never realized how much i had learned in my first introduction to yoga. last year, i took a formally led ashtanga class at a studio. the other participants were tiny, fit and young. i felt old and out of practice. the teacher was a man who literally wore a tank top and what appeared to be boxer briefs. being a little softer in the middle, i felt completely out of place.

i got adjusted. i got called out. i got thoroughly exhausted. but for me, it still felt like home. since i've started this 30 day yoga challenge, i have not yet done the full primary series. i feel like i'm not ready to dive in and take that feeling of not-good-enough.

after reading this post, thought, i feel much more willing to give it a try. and i'll still get exhausted. and i'll still get adjusted, but i won't let it get me down.

day 27: had a plan, modified my plan

25 minutes - self-guided practice

this morning, i had a plan for how i wanted to move through my practice and i just kept modifying based on how i felt. i did more full vinyasas than i usually do, but i felt strong so i kept going. i added warrior 3 and the full side-angle pose instead of the modified version. i learned the fire log pose at the class on sunday and included that in my practice. it felt like a choose your own adventure book only it was actually my adventure.

last night, while talking with M, he asked me fairly incredulously if i seriously couldn't get my heels to the ground in downward-dog. nope. still can't. well, apparently he can. obviously, i asked for a demonstration. at first, his form was not so good, but after we adjusted, he could still touch both heels to the ground.

i think it's the male body. the only other people i know who regularly practice are women. maybe we're just physically built differently. i feel like he's beating me and not even trying! i know in my head that practicing yoga is not a competition, but it can still feel like that sometimes.

my new goal is to get my heels to the ground by day 30. which leaves me 3 more days. we'll see...

day 26: sivananda

20 minutes - modified sivananda

the sivananda series starts with headstand which as i mentioned the first time i tried this series, i cannot do right now. i tried dolphin instead which is hard, but manageable. my intention was to breathe 10 breaths in each poses. i did 10 breaths, but i had to take a break in the middle of a few- specifically, dolphin, boat and up-ward facing dog. i am building strength, but i'm not there yet.

i've been thinking about continuing my practice after the 30 consecutive days, but giving myself some free passes for mornings like this morning. i hit the snooze button 3 times and i don't even remember falling back asleep in between. suddenly it was just ringing again.

and i may have been a little out of it getting started. i realized after i finished my practice the i wore my shirt inside out the whole time. yeah, that happened.

day 25: yoga at the studio

90 minutes - vinyasa 1/2

i went to my first studio class since i started the 30 day yoga challenge. i used my pass to balanced yoga and attended the 8:30am class. when i signed up for the early class it seemed like a great idea. at about 10pm last night, it seemed less good. nonetheless, i got up, put on my big girl (yoga) pants and headed out.

the regular instructor is apparently out recovery from a surgery, but i still really liked the person who subbed for her. it felt good to practice with a group and still maintain a focus on my body and my breath. i felt tall and strong and open when we finished.

since i've been practicing at home for so long, i asked the instructor after class if she noticed anything i should be aware of or if my form was good. she said i looked good and wasn't noticeably doing anything to hurt myself. she said she thought my practice was good.

it feels good to have validation not only that i'm doing it right, but that i can hang with a group that meets regularly for 90 minutes and still be able to keep going.

day 24: on the floor

20 minutes - legs and hips

M left before i woke up to go run the cap city half marathon today. i figured he'd be toast for most of the afternoon and rather than miss practicing today, i also got up bright and early. i made it exactly 20 minutes before V started calling for me.

i'm planning to attend a 90 minute class tomorrow and i really wanted a light practice to start the day. i used a strap and did seated forward bends, pigeon pose and some twists. i felt good and moved easily.

and then we started our days.

day 23: standing, balancing, seated

25 minutes - same as yesterday (almost)

this morning, i chose the same pattern as yesterday, but as i went through the poses i made adjustments and changes along the way. for some reason, the full up-dog position hurts the inside of my right wrist. i modified to cobra, but i miss the satisfaction of rolling over my toes into down-dog.

the back of my legs felt tight today so i added two forward bends at the beginning to loosen myself up a bit. i did the first two bends from the primary series. as i pulled up on my toes and pushed down through my legs, i opened my shoulders, too.

but, then M walked downstairs and stepped around me. then the cat decided she wanted to be on my mat, too. i kept thinking about all the stuff i had to do today. not as focused as i would have preferred to be.

it happens.

day 22: self-guided practice

25 minutes

last night before bed, i grabbed my yoga deck and pulled out 6 or 8 poses that seemed to flow in my mind. this morning, i rolled out of bed, rolled out my mat and lined up my cards so i wouldn't forget.

i started with some sun salutations and then moved through the poses. as i got into my practice, i rearranged and added variations as i felt like it. adjusting as i practiced made sense.i added happy baby after my shoulder stand and plow because my back felt tight.  i could move how i wanted to move and not feel like i have to go with the rest of the group.

the risk in self-guided practice is that i'll never do the poses i find uncomfortable or scary. i'm hopeful that attending a group class (in person) once a week will help me continue to grow in my practice.

also, today a woman told me that i walk like a model. she said that i walked with grace like the models walk. "did you take modelling classes as a girl?" nope. i am not a model and couldn't really ever be mistaken for one. but i believe that my yoga practice over the last 3 weeks has made a noticeable difference in how i carry myself.

who wouldn't want to walk with grace?

day 21: on my own

30-35 minutes - sivananda

i followed the advice of my good friend and tried the 12 basic asanas in the sivananda practice. to be truthful, i can't really do a headstand at the moment so i skipped that one. i focused on my breath and started with 5 series A sun salutations and 3 B then cycled through the poses.

i couldn't figure out how to prop my hips in fish pose, but here we are. i liked being able to follow my own breath and i held most of the poses for 10 breaths each. when i hold a pose that long i find that about half way through i relax or realize i can shift deeper or move my body to refocus and finish up.

without the verbal guidance, i felt able to focus in on myself in a different way. i'm going to keep trying a quieter practice.

day 20: sun salutations

30 minutes - sun salutations and so on

from yoga journal

i feel like a kid who left her homework at school. i woke up this morning without a plan for my practice and ended up choosing a class focused on repetition. really, the class had participants do 10 series A sun salutations and then i did the first of 10 series B sun salutations before i turned off the class and did my own thing.

rather than continue to be annoyed with the class, i chose to follow what my body wanted to do. i did some forward bends, a standing balancing pose, cobbler's pose, a twist and happy baby. it felt really good to practice on my own without someone chatting at me. while i certainly didn't look like the model in the picture, i got a good stretch.

tonight, i'm actually going to do my homework and make a plan for myself for tomorrow morning. then, when i start going to the studio once a week (thanks to my amazing birthday present!), it will be a welcome feeling to be guided through a practice.

day 19: condensed full practice

30 minutes - quick essential poses

this morning, i feel like we took a full practice and crammed it into 30 minutes. we started with 3 sun salutations, did a couple standing poses (warrior 2 and triangle), balanced in mountain, transitioned into seated poses and ended in hero.

for me, i would have chosen a different series of poses, but the flow made sense. i just didn't care for the seated poses we did. apparently so much so that i can't remember what they were. meh.

maybe instead of doing an online class, i'll take some time this evening to design my own practice. i bet i can come up with a series that takes 30 minutes, follows a similar pattern and takes the path i want to take.

maybe that will be my challenge within my challenge. do you have any tips for planning a practice?

day 18: a gentle practice

20 minutes - nice and easy

today is my birthday and rather than wake up at 6am for yoga, i decided to sleep in a bit. i also kicked my own butt a bit with yesterday's practice and my arms could certainly feel the workout. i did a nice gentle practice, mostly on the floor, and stretched out my hips, my hamstrings and my back. just right.

i also had a massage today and it turns out my giant knot was actually on my right side, not my left like i thought. my right upper body was so knotted up and tight that i overstretched my left side which is what caused the pain. the good part is that my knots are gone. the bad part is that i'm a little sore from how hard she had to push to get my muscles to ease up.

tired, sore, but glad to be sorted out.

day 17: modified primary series

60 minutes - ashtanga modified primary

my practice today is the best one yet. i had a whole hour (M took the girls to the grocery) and i figured after more than 2 weeks of daily practice my body would be ready for a proper class. i've been telling myself to stick with beginner classes and level 1 ability because i've been away for so long.

today felt like coming home. i knew the pattern and my body remembers the poses. i didn't have to watch the instructor, i could finally just follow my breath and move through.

she did about half of the primary series, but in an hour it was still a serious practice. i feel strong and i feel tired. i forgot how much one goes from a seated pose back through plank, updog and downdog. today is the first time i've been able to *almost* jump through.

i wish i could do a practice like this more often, but finding an hour is challenging. however, tomorrow is my birthday and i feel like this gives me license to ask for a little extra time.

this is also the first time i've felt really calm after practicing. i don't feel distracted. i don't feel in a hurry.

day 16: better than coffee

30 minutes - vinyasa flow

better than coffee? i'm not so sure about that, but i will say i felt more awake when i finished than when i started. this was the most active practice i've done in about a week and it felt good.

from yoga journal

in all truthfulness, i couldn't actually manage a couple of the poses. standing split? at 5:45am? nope. camel pose? i didn't even know what this was. apparently, one kneels, then lengthens through the torso, then leans back and grab's one's ankles. not happening. (proper instructions can be found at yoga journal.)

it felt good to get moving  and even though i really, really didn't want to get out of my nice warm bed and wander downstairs to find my mat, i'm glad i did.

day 15: shoulders

30 minutes - shoulder openers

from balanced yoga

to follow on my balance class last night, i chose a class this morning for people with sore shoulders and upper back. it seemed appropriate considering my giant shoulder knot that has been working itself out since the beginning of the week.

i did quite a few standing poses which had me reaching up and pulling down at the same time, again to create space- space in my middle, space between my ears and my shoulders, space between my fingertips and my body. the final pose in the series started with laying on my back with a block under my shoulder blades and a block under my head. then, i reached my arms from my sides over my head with my fingers touching the floor. it was pretty hard to gracefully get out of the pose, but it felt great while i was in it.

and, today is officially the half-way point in the 30 day yoga challenge. i am super impressed with myself that i've managed to make time to practice for 15 days in a row. and with my good friend who is side by side (and on the other side of the world) with me.

we're really doing it.

day 14: balance

60 minutes - balance and alignment

we had our last on-site yoga class at work last night with my favorite instructor. she's so good. we had a small group, but we moved quite a bit. she led us through a series of poses to open the chest and create space between the hips and the shoulders. i felt so much taller after the class.

and she sells wedges to help prop up one's rump when sitting so that it's easier to be tall. it takes less effort to stack my body and decreases the instinct to round the upper back and hunch forward. she jokes that the class should be called all about the pelvis because we spend so much time figuring out how to align our bodies to move with the natural curve of the pelvis and shift from the cultural tendency to push our hips forward, pull our tummies in and muscle our back into sitting up straight.

amazingly, our body is designed to do this on its own and figuring out how to allow that to happen takes concentration and practice.

you can find more about this instructor here. i would recommend her to anyone with any degree of familiarity with yoga. it can feel a little disjointed at the beginning of this type of practice, but the benefits are huge.

day 13: restorative in the morning

20 minutes - restorative

the class i chose this morning had gentle movement to relax. the class was geared toward winding down after a long day, but it felt good to start the day with an inward focus. i forget how we started, but the middle included a good bit of cat/cow and ended with my legs from the knee down supported on the seat of a chair and my back on the ground.

my should is better today, but again i didn't want to aggravate it any more than necessary. tomorrow i'm going to get back into the swing of things with the balance class and then thursday i'm planning to do a more vigorous flow.

i also participated in a mindfulness workshop yesterday and i wanted to replicate the calm from simply noticing my body and noticing my thoughts. it is a relief to not spend time worrying about what's next.

day 12: sore shoulder and hip openers

20 minutes - hip openers, encore performance

i have a giant knot under my shoulder blade on my left side. it is killing me. it's the kind of knot that makes me aware of it every time i move and sends pain radiating into my whole side body. ugh.

i thought to do a nice shoulder practice this morning and my shoulder still hurt so much that i thought i might really hurt myself. i did the hip opener class from yesterday again.

M said that with a knot like this usually it's bad, then really bad and then gets better. i'm hoping that last night to this morning was the really bad and now i'll be on the upswing.

it stinks getting older. oh well.

days 10 & 11: ashtanga and hip openers

day 10: 45 minutes - ashtanga

i took a long car trip with my girls yesterday - 3 hours out and 3 hours back. i need something solid to start my day and this worked. i felt comfortable because i knew the flow and i could challenge myself in places where i have gained strength and ease up on myself where my muscles felt tight.

i did learn that i made a mistake about terminology. apparently, pranayama means breath and vinyasa  means tying the breath to motion. so there's breathing and breathing in coordination with movement.

day 11: 20 minutes - hip openers

after driving for 6 hours yesterday, i have a pretty killer pinch behind one of my shoulder blades and 10 sun salutations might just knock me out for the day. rather than aggravate my shoulder, i centered my practice on my hips this morning. i feel soft and open and good.

happy weekend practice!

day 9: upper back and shoulders

30 minutes - vinyasa for athletes

not being an athlete, i feel i may not have benefited as much from this class as say, a footballer, but i do have tight shoulders and this certainly worked out those areas. it is the first proper level 2 class i've done since i started the 30 day yoga challenge and i think it's safe to say that i'm not quite there yet. i got totally out of breath and couldn't get as deep into the poses as i would have liked.

we did one section that started in warrior 2 and keeping my legs in that stance, i brought my right arm up toward my head with my arm bent and my left arm pulled my elbow back. it was a great stretch, but we held it for so long that my arms started to tingle and now my right arm is still tingling. that was an unanticipated outcome.

on the whole, it was a good morning practice. this morning, i really wanted to stay in bed and skip it altogether. i'm glad i didn't.

day 8: move

30 minutes - vinyasa and warrior 2

this morning i did a simple 30 minute class which felt just right for my morning practice. while we never did the full sun salutations, the different poses followed a familiar pattern and the breath followed the movement. it felt like home instead of wondering what we would do next.

my challenge came as M came downstairs to get ready for work. our house is creaky and i can't turn up the volume because i don't want to wake the babies. but M kept walking through the living room. he wasn't distracting me on purpose and was doing the stuff that needs to happen in the morning, but i lost my focus at the end.

overall, i feel great, though. i feel balanced inside and out.

day 7: balance

60 minutes - balance

this evening, i participated in one of my favorite classes. the instructor is the same as when i took pre-natal yoga and she helped me through 2 pregnancies.

it's a super gentle class with not a lot of movement, but i feel taller. i practiced opening my shoulders which i tend to scrunch up. i practiced forward bends and sitting properly. we used props and i am so conscious of how i sit now. i can't sit like i used to in my office chair or my car or my sofa. i feel like i can relax and align my body so that it's not working to hold me up.

also, today is officially one week into the 30 day challenge. i found myself today feeling like i forgot something this morning even though i knew i'd be practicing in the evening. i didn't realize how much i would look forward to that time.

feeling balanced.

day 6: radiate health

30 minutes - pranayama

this morning i chose a class called "radiate health". the description said it would be great for morning and get you energized. it was a little odd and the instructor told us to do the "breath of fire" during one section which i hate and chose not to do, but the idea of pranayama is to tie one's breath to movement.

today, we did several 2 minute sets of different exercises with specific motions tied to inhalation and exhalation with a minute rest in between. i felt strong when we finished and managed to complete the whole class before any babies woke up.

i am starting my day with strong arms.

day 5: delay of game

this morning i had every intention of getting out of bed and practicing for 30 minutes. except my big kid also woke up at 5:15am. she had had an accident and after cleaning her up, i put her in the bed with me in hopes of her falling back asleep. 45 minutes later, after trying to convince her to close her eyes, i gave up and let her read books.

i could have let her stay in the bed by herself, but i would have worried about her and rushed through the practice. i'm going to make time this evening after settle down instead.

20 minutes - restorative

tonight, finally, i made space for myself to practice. N was crying after i put her down and V was settling down, too. understanding that my time may be limited i chose a short restorative class. rather than spread out in the living room like i usually do, i rolled out my mat on the kitchen floor somewhat sandwiched between the island and the walls. sounds carries in our house.

the practice itself was excellent. after a long day i turned my attention inward and opened up my hips and rolled out the knots in my lower back.

until V started yelling at the top of her lungs. and woke up the baby. i managed to finish the class before going up to calm her down.

self-realization: mornings are my only chance for a quiet practice. i'm getting up at 5am tomorrow in hopes of the pre-dawn calm.

day 4: restorative

30 minutes - restorative

today, i did an evening class in the morning. i figured after starting from nothing and practicing yoga for 4 days in a row, maybe i should slow it down for a day. except it was mostly centered around relaxing from a long day. V woke up in the middle of the class and while M agreed to practice with me, he agreed to go get her and then missed the entire middle section. V however sat with us through the last 10 minutes.

she didn't want to do it. then she did. i mostly couldn't concentrate. i stretched though.

i think my take away from today is that i enjoy practicing by myself when i don't have to worry about anyone else getting hurt or not wanting to do it or thinking it's not the right thing. while i find the camaraderie of a class reassuring, i find company in my own home distracting.

day 3: modified primary

45 minutes - modified primary

today felt better than any other so far. i'm sure that part of it had to do with me not waking up until 6:30am and then not feeling like i had to rush as soon as i finished.

the class i did was geared toward beginners and focused quite a bit on engaging the muscles and keeping them active in each pose. while the practice wasn't vigorous, i had time to get into each pose and then really put my attention on my form.

totally satisfactory.

day 2: deeper alignment

30 minutes - focus on alignment

today, yoga was terrible. the class i chose didn't have any sort of identifiable flow and in the end while the focus was to increase alignment i felt totally out of balance and off kilter.

and i woke up with a headache. and i was sleepy. and i still got up to practice and didn't quit half way through mostly because now there are 4 of us participating in 30 days of yoga. so awesome.

day 1: beginner ashtanga

Day 1: 30 minutes - Beginner Ashtanga

last night, before i went up to bed, i selected a 30 minute vinyasa flow class to do this morning. the description said i'd need 2 blocks and a strap. this morning, i woke up, unrolled my map, pulled up the class and realized that my blocks were in my sleeping daughter's closet.

so, rather than start my 30 day challenge by hurting myself, i stopped the class and pulled up the same beginner ashtanga class from yesterday.

today, i realized my shoulders hurt. lowering myself from plan position to the ground took all of my concentration. i struggled to keep my elbows in, but i made it. the nice thing about repeating the same routine 2 days in a row is that i felt more liberty to follow my breath with the movements as opposed to waiting for the instructor to tell me what to do next.

today, i feel pretty proud of myself for officially starting my 30 days of yoga. and i'm super pleased that my very good friend will be joining me from all the way across the world. now that i have a partner, i'm much more likely to make it past this weekend.

30 day yoga challenge

today, i decided to start my own personal 30 day yoga challenge. for me, this means choosing to practice yoga for a minimum of 20 minutes per day for 30 days.

i've been considering establishing a regular yoga practice recently and have given myself all the excuses in the world to not do it. i'm too tired at the end of the day. i'm too tired to get out of bed early. i have to work. i have to pick up the kids-feed them dinner-get them to bed. i tell myself i'm too busy.

but, i read an article today about how establishing a home practice is essentially creating a habit. you can read the full article here. i realized that i am busy. i work full time and i have 2 young children. however, i can choose to create space for yoga.

my goals with the 30 day challenge are to make time for myself, become more active and add some balance to my life both physically and mentally. and last, i hope to create a habit that leads me to continue to have a daily practice in some form or fashion.

pre-challenge: Beginner Ashtanga class - 30 minutes

i subscribe to yogaglo and have a plethora of yoga classes to choose from. last year, before i paused my practice, i became interested and enjoyed practicing the primary series. having not practiced yoga in any real way for nearly a year, i thought a full 90 minutes might kill me. i started with the primary series light. it was just what i need to kick start my interest and not too much to make me want to quit.

wish me luck!