ashtanga and the ego

i just read a blog post called ashtanga yoga - the mighty ego crusher which rings fairly true to me. as a young person, i learned ashtanga at the gym. i totally thought it was just gym yoga, but the advantage for me was two fold. first, the teacher was excellent and really took time to break down the poses and offer encouragement and adjustment to meet my ability and fear. second, the class sizes were generally quite small and sometimes i was the only person practicing. i got tons of individual attention.

through the year, i've practiced off and on, but never realized how much i had learned in my first introduction to yoga. last year, i took a formally led ashtanga class at a studio. the other participants were tiny, fit and young. i felt old and out of practice. the teacher was a man who literally wore a tank top and what appeared to be boxer briefs. being a little softer in the middle, i felt completely out of place.

i got adjusted. i got called out. i got thoroughly exhausted. but for me, it still felt like home. since i've started this 30 day yoga challenge, i have not yet done the full primary series. i feel like i'm not ready to dive in and take that feeling of not-good-enough.

after reading this post, thought, i feel much more willing to give it a try. and i'll still get exhausted. and i'll still get adjusted, but i won't let it get me down.