change is hard

my first week of lifestyle shifting is going ok. not great, but ok. i feel like i didn't actually arrange enough time to accomplish all my weekly goals this week, especially as i'm coming off of a (lovely) weekend of travel into a full work-week, an anniversary celebration and a wedding this weekend.

too many special occasions for full-on victory this week. but, i found this image from yoga on high this afternoon and it brightened my outlook a bit.

now, i'm going to re-set my brain and turn my can't into cans and my dreams into a plan for a yoga retreat.*

*i feel like i sound a little chipper and perky on this one, but i've felt a little sad and a little isolated this week since most of my social habits are linked up with stuff that's not so healthful. pulling away from conversation and friends to not be around the stuff i don't want to do is a bummer.

here we go again!

when i first started posting here, i had just started a 30 day yoga challenge. at first, i thought to keep the blog to document my progress and essentially check the box for my practice each day. however, as the month went on, i found i looked forward to writing about my experience as well as practicing.

today, as i start my lifestyle change, i'd like to share my shift in a similar way. as i mentioned last week, i've been having a tough time motivating myself to make these choices. after a lovely long weekend with my very, very good friend, we settled on my external motivator.

if i can meet my goals, my reward is a yoga retreat. it's not something i would normally just do or buy and it will be a totally new experience. i've been thinking about it for quite awhile, but never pulled the trigger. so, here we go!

i threw away my left over cigarettes this morning and i did walking club with my co-workers this afternoon to break-up the day a little bit. i feel a little sad and a little excited. the plan is simple: no smoking, practice 3-4 times a week and 7 drinks per week. if i can do that, i can go to the retreat.

it sounds simple on paper, but breaking a habit (or starting a habit, for that matter) is hard. for me, it takes focus and discipline and obviously a really big treat at the end of it.

wish me luck!

building up to a lifestyle change

for the past couple of weeks, i've been mulling over shifting my lifestyle in a fairly big way. to be frank, i'm smoking, i drink wine (often) and since my vacation earlier this month, my yoga practice has slipped to nearly non-existent. not so good.

i need a motivator. my husband asked me if my health and his happiness would be enough, but i just don't think it is. the last times i quit smoking and stopped drinking i was either pregnant or in the hospital. neither of which i plan to experience again in the near future.

i'm trying to figure out something i want that i wouldn't normally get for myself- a girlfriend suggested an awesome handbag or a new pair of shoes, but those don't seem quite far enough out of reach. i'm leaning toward a yoga retreat in november.

now, all i have to do is set my goals, stick to them and earn my reward.

other suggestions for external motivators?

binding, binding, binding

90 minutes - vinyasa 1/2

finally, i made it back to the studio after moving. i have practice precisely once since we actually moved homes primarily because working, having two children and unpacking is a lot like have 2-3 full time jobs. i fall into the bed every night and take every spare minute in the morning to collect sleep.

this morning, however, i committed to the studio. i'm so glad i did. it took me a minute to warm up, but the whole practice revolved around warrior 2 and moving from warrior 2 to a variety of other positions.

my milestones today include binding in 2 positions that i've never been able to manage before. first, the yogic squat. basically, you squat with your knees and ankles pointing the same direction (for me, slightly outward) and put your hands in prayer position. (my girlfriend taught me how to sit like this almost 20 years ago because it's how the old korean ladies sit in the market.) then somehow the instructor got me into the bind- one arm under and one arm behind. i've never done that before.

then, the second bind came right after. we were in side angle pose and i made it into the bind there as well. except i couldn't hold it for the whole time. i don't know how many breaths we were taking, but i made it about half way through. i guess that's what i get for not practicing for 3 weeks.

still, i'm pretty proud of my progress.

standing half moon

60 minutes - balance

Last night was our final on site yoga class at work before the summer. I know my co-workers like the instructor, but I have to say that I'm not a big fan. He takes forever to get into the poses.

However, last night I did the full standing half moon poses without falling over. The key for me is looking down to find my focus instead of looking up at the ceiling. And standing on the floor instead of my mat. It felt so good and so strong to be able to push out of both arms and both legs at the same time.

Super proud of myself.

bind

60 minutes - on site fitness

we had on site fitness last night with not my favorite instructor, but the practice was nice. it was only me and one other co-worker. as we neared the end of our practice, i managed to get into a full bind in a seated twist. and just as i settled into the bind on the other side, a police officer walked into the room.

"is this 1399?" he asked. what?

he asked again. then he asked, "are you burglars? we got a burglary alarm."

let me paint a picture for you: 3 people sitting in a fairly dim conference room on yoga mats with peaceful music playing in the background. if we were really burglars, we were the worst ones ever. who breaks into a conference room to practice yoga?

in reality, someone had forgotten we were there and set the alarm on us which is set off by motion. i hopped up, disarmed the alarm and got a false alarm ticket.

the instructor wanted to repeat our previous pose to get us back into the rhythm, but we had done fish pose right before that and i really didn't want to do that one again, so we did something else to refocus our breath and finish up.

seriously distracting.

nice and easy

25 minutes - whatever i want

this morning, i thought i would do the 12 asana practice my friend recommended to me, but i kept getting dizzy in downward dog. so, i scrapped that and did a nice little series of standing poses, a balancing pose and some seated forward bends. i added a little twist to round out my practice then tried to finish up in hero pose again.

except i couldn't quiet my mind. the cat tried to use my mat as a scratching post. i worried about the baby waking up. i thought about the back to back interviews i have scheduled this afternoon. ugh.

i gave up and started my day. oh well.